Dustin Houston

There are no words to describe the pain of burying a child, and specifically there is no word to label their new, lifelong status. If you lose a spouse, you are a widow; if you lose a parent, you are an orphan. But what about when you lose a child? How do you name something you cannot comprehend?
~ Lisa Belkin, Describing Grief, Motherlode Blog, New York Times, 06/08/2010

Grief changes us
The pain sculpts us
into someone who
understands more deeply
hurts more often
appreciates more quickly
cries more easily
hopes more desperately
loves more openly

 

I read this poem for Dustin at The Compassionate Friends 14th Annual Butterfly Release and Picnic on April 22, 2012

You can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone,
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn back,
or you can do what he would want:
Smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Author: David Harkins 

We little knew that day,
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death, we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you,
but you did not go alone.
For part of us went with you,
on the day God called you home.

You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide.
And although we cannot see you,
You are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.

Author: Ron Tranmer

Remember Me
Fill not your hearts with pain and sorrow,
but remember me in every tomorrow.
Remember the joy, the laughter, the smiles,
I've only gone to rest a little while.

Although my leaving causes pain and grief,
my going has eased my hurt, and given me relief.

So dry your eyes and remember me,
not as I am now, but as I used to be.
Because, I will remember you all,
and look on with a smile.
Understand in your hearts,
I've only gone to rest a little while.

As long as I have the love of each of you,
I can life my life in the hearts of all of you.

(Words from one of Dusty's funeral cards)